A Million Little Things

They always seem insignificant in the beginning: one thing here and there, leaving a hollow place in our life, mind, spirit, soul during that time it takes to fill that vast space created by our expectations. But the key to building a million little things is consistency: one step after the other, deciding to show up to the world everyday, finding the courage to do that little "big" thing. What an oxymoron, isn't it? And yet, it has all its sense depending on which side of the emotional spectrum you stand on; depending on whether we look at it from within ourselves or from the world perspective.

It might seem little to the world or even to you when you start and when all you can see it that one thing; but it will look and seem big during those days where all you want to do is to give up, to revert to our old ways; in those days where to show up and to do it will require all the strength you didn't know you have. It will feel and seem big, but in some ways, it will be that little thing because it will be just that: just that sentence, just that "no", just that getting out of bed and showing up into the world when  all you want to do is stay in, just that half hour on the treadmill... It will feel little and you will be tempted to give up but you have to remember that a forest is not planted overnight: it is created by planting one tree after the other, day after day, months after months, year after year. It will feel like an eternity until one day, you look up and realize what felt so little, insignificant and barely noticeable has become that thing that cannot be hidden anymore: it is there for the whole world to see.

A million little things... They start little but grow to be a quite a big deal but you will only see it if you keep showing up and keep doing the work even when you don't feel like it.

It won' t be easy. It will be frustrating at times. There will be days where you will want to give up but  remember: a million of something start with that one little piece consistently added up over a period of time.

So start here, right where you are, right where you stand and as you embark on that journey, be patient with yourself. Be patient with the process. Keep showing up, keep doing the work until one day, you assist to the miracle of what will be your "million little things".

Until next time,

The Might God And The Taunting Giant: Overcoming The Giant Of Addiction

Running to addictions to mend our brokenness or numb our feelings is similar to fixing something broken on your car internally with duct tape: it seems smart. It seems to work. Things feel good in the moment until they don’t. At first it’s one thing that is wrong then everything starts falling apart one after the other or sometimes all at once. When I used to hear addiction, my mind automatically would to go to drugs or alcohol when really, addiction is ANYTHING that will give you a feeling of high, anything that you run to to numb your feelings or escape your reality -internal or external, anything you will use as a coping mechanism for trauma. While addiction to drugs, alcohol, sex can be the most obvious and destructive there are also other kind of addiction that are more subtle but just as destructive : addiction to other people’s approval/ validation/acknowledgement, addiction to social media, addiction to TV, to books, music, the gym (wow... okay whet... what?! Yes... I said what I said so don't @ me. Get in line, you can wait like all the others to fight me)

Addiction is something that steals your time, energy, focus and resources and prevents you from developing proper mechanisms and techniques to face issues in life and resolve them in a healthy way. Essentially, instead of confronting the issues and talking about them, addictions are a way of sweeping them under the rug and pretending they do not exist. In the case of books, TV or even music, it is a bubble that we live in and find refuge in when the world becomes unbearable. Being an addict is like going into a forest: the deeper we go in, the less satisfying it is. There is that itch to keep going further and further, heightening the thrill, being convinced that there is a grandiose thing that we will run into if we keep pushing. But somehow, some of us become disillusioned and soon realize that we are lost in the forest and can’t find our way back unlike Hansel and Gretel.

Although it may feel like being lost is the end, it is in a way a beginning: a rebirth to being someone better, an opportunity to make better choices. But there is a monumental work to do and steps to take to get out of the woods and find our way back into reality. So what exactly are those steps from a Christian/ spiritual perspective? As we dive into Louie Giglio’s book, Goliath Must fall, this is his advice to us [because if we are honest, we all have an addiction to something or someone] to overcome the giant of addiction.

1- Find the root cause of the addiction

In order to even start addressing the subject of addiction, we need to recognize that it is the symptom of something that runs deeper into our being; a bigger problem to which the addiction is only the tip of the iceberg. Addiction is a deeper manifestation of the inner dysfunction that we are struggling to overcome and that we need to identify (name). Identifying the root of the problem will allow to come up with a better plan to create a long lasting change/recovery using tools such as cognitive and behavioral therapy that will help cope better with the triggers at the origin of the addiction issue, rehabilitation in order to get the patient to the place where the former steps can be taken and support group that will assist the recovering addict as well as provide the accountability needed to stay on track with the progress. 

2- Vulnerability

The next prescription on Louie's list is to be vulnerable before God and ask for help. God is a gentleman like that and He will not force His way into a situation. And so, while we expect God who knows everything to step up and magically work things out, God is waiting for us to ask. But the problem is that many of us struggle with being vulnerable because we have been taught that to be vulnerable is to be weak when in reality it is the greatest sign of courage. The courage to disclose something that we know people can judge us based on or even hurt us with. So we have projected our [bad] experiences when it comes to vulnerability onto God and have held Him- and ourselves- hostage to human standards. In order to have a breakthrough when it comes to addiction, we have to be willing to be vulnerable with God and the people around us trusting that in time we will get through the storm. 

3- Running to God

Louie urges us to run to God when we feel faint, trusting that His grace is enough to sustain us. Paul in Hebrews 4: 16 says : “I am approaching the throne of grace with confidence , so that I may receive mercy and find grace to help me in my time of need” and this is what we ought to do along with being vulnerable and getting to the root of the problem. To start the process is hard but to stay the course is harder and that is why, with no shame, we should run to God when we feel like we are faint, when we feel like we are close to missing the mark. And even in the times when we do, we are to remember that we are never beyond God’s reach, never too far to be rescued.

Overcoming the giant of addiction starts with surrendering to God and acknowledging that we are limited in the many ways there are to handle battles and not always equipped to handle them. It is only when we recognize that we are limited and worn out that we can receive from Christ the strength that we need to overcome our addictions, for it is not by our own strength or power but knowing that “ we are more than conquerors through Him [Christ] who loved us.” (Rom 8:37)

This last article concludes our series on the Mighty God and The Taunting Giant. I hope you enjoyed it! 

Until next time,

A purposeful wanderer