It's A Wrap

Hi there and welcome back to the final article of this blog for 2017. I sat down and reflected on this year a lot: what it's been, what is has given and also what it has taken. And although not everybody can say the same, I can say that 2017 has been good to me. Yes I've had lows where I was sitting in a pit emotionally, but even in the midst of it, God's grace carried me through it all and I am grateful to look back and thank Him for carrying me through another year. As we are heading (some of us crawling) into a new year, the question I kept asking myself is: what to make of this new year? How to tackle it? here are a few suggestions I came up with:

🌟 Keep it simple

We all have a tendency to complicate things, to overthink and blow them out of proportions, look more into things than needed to. this year let's keep it simple: take things for what they are, keep your answers short and sweet, mean what you say and say what you mean. No need for the embellishment. Go straight to the point.

🌟 Stand in your "no" and stand by your "yes"

No means no and yes well... Means yes. Learn to say no to things that do not honor you and that do not make you happy. Exercise your “no” muscle this year. No need to be mean or nasty, no need for long sentences: "No." is a sentence of it's own (refer to item #1 on list). If you don't want it, if you don't want to do it, say no and stand in it because it is your right. If you say yes to something, stand by your yes: even if everybody else says no. It's okay to be different, to think differently and to have different opinions. People don't have to understand: they just need to accept and respect it.

🌟  Quality not quantity

It took me years to understand that one and seeing my circle get smaller over the years definitely drilled it in my head. as we grow, we get into a phase where it is not about being popular anymore or having a lot of friends/ people around: it is about having that solid support system, those 3 or 4 people that have your back if shit ever is to hit the fan. It is about having people you can grow with, evolve with, people that open up your mind to life possibilities, people that build you up and that you can build up too, people you can have really deep and meaningful conversations with. That's what you should aim for in 2018.

🌟  Make space

This year, I decided to clean my closet. I am a hoarder and it is very hard for me to let go of things (literally and figuratively). But as I was cleaning my closets and packing stuff, I realized that unless you make space, nothing new can get into your life: de-cluttering your life, mind, heart [and closet] is an invitation for new things [good things hopefully] to get into your life. Essentially you are telling God and life "I am ready for something new to come my way". So don't be afraid to make space: let some people/things go, keeping in mind that if something is truly yours, if someone is meant to be in your life a) it will always gravitate around you or b) it will come back to some other time.

🌟  Ask for help

When I was done packing the things that I wanted to donate, I took all my bags outside my building and waited for my Uber. I managed to get three big bags full of clothes, shoes, and bags into that Uber but then, it got more difficult to get them from the Uber car to the donation site. I watched the Uber driver go away and leaving me out there in those streets, struggling to get those bags in! And I thought in myself: "I know this guy didn't just leave me here to handle all those bags by myself!" Then I heard a voice that said:" that's what happens when you don't ask for help." I was undone because this was absolutely true: when you don't ask for help people assume you got it and you have the resources needed to handle whatever you are going through. So why would they bother proposing to help you only to be rejected? Everybody hates rejection so no thank! 2018 is the year to grow and some phases of your grow curve/ process will require someone else to show you the way and show how to do some things you have never done before. We are all ignorant and learning in our very own ways (if you're not learning you're dead... yup I just said that) and we all need help. So no shame, no shade: be willing to acknowledge that you're stuck and that you need help because that's how you grow.

🌟  Ground yourself spiritually

Whatever you believe in: hold on to that. Practice it everyday, ground yourself spiritually everyday. my spiritual life in 2017 started out well and then fell off towards the end but i strongly believe that  the reason why I was able to make it through 2017 is because I was spiritually grounded. I had made a habit to talk to God, to get into my Bible and to build my spiritual being. It allowed me to absorb life's blows better than I did in 2016. some situations I went through shook me enough to leave me in haze for days (months at time) even while being spiritually grounded so I can't imagine what would have happened if I wasn't. So I decided that 2018 would be a year for me to go back to the basics, to grow bigger roots in my faith and to do better that I did in 2017. And I encourage you to do it too. 

🌟  Be Happy

Geniunely happy. Don't pretend to be happy to show your ex that you're running these streets. don't pretend so that whoever hurt you can see that you're over it when in fact you're not. Instead of putting so much effort into crafting those schemes, direct those efforts into creating genuine happiness. Put in the work! It is hard, it takes time, sometimes it feels like you'll never get it and then one day, it just happens: you can finally smile, laugh and you are absolutely unbothered. I had a friend asking me what would be my wish for 2018 if i had only one and i told him : "make 2018 my happiest year ever" and I meant it with every fiber of my being. It might not be easy: people will try me, life might try me at some time but I know Who I am and Whose I am so why fret? And plus I am making a conscious choice to not be offended and laugh as much as I can in 2018 so hopefully things should work out well. If I can do it, so can you :)

That's it for the last article of this year! I hope you had fun reading through the blog this year and that some of the things you read built you up, encouraged you, gave you hope and made you smile. 

I am wishing for 2018 to be the happiest year of your life. May God turn your biggest heartbreaks into your biggest wins for 2018. And may Happiness and grace accompany you all the days of this new year.

Happy New Year to you and yours ❤

Yours truly,

The Happiness Fairy 👸

12 Days of Love Letter 💌

Another week, another opportunity to share love and find hidden blessings dressed in overalls. If you are new around here: welcome and if you are one of the regular: welcome back! Always a pleasure to have you over. Today’s post is a little particular for me as it has to do with a sensitive subject for me, which, I am learning only now to be honest and open about: mental health.

Being honest and comfortable talking about mental health and your feelings/ emotions is not always easy especially as a black woman for the simple reason that being black and depressed is apparently like saying you’ve a seen a unicorn. We live in a society where, even though people of color seem to be more aware of mental health issues and advocating for talking about it, it is still taboo. My struggle with depression started a long time ago and it has kind of been an on-going theme for the past ten years. As I have grown, I have found new tools to help me deal better with the ups and downs of depression and one of them is writing love letters. Going through the things I went through growing up and feeling like I never had anybody to talk to or turn to for support, I promised myself that I would be for somebody else the person I would have wanted to have to help me and support me through the most difficult times of my life. And so over the summer, I discover More Love Letter, a non- profit organization funded by Hanna Brencher. The story of what is now one of the biggest movement, started when Hannah, finding herself in the pit of depression, started writing love letters to strangers and leaving them in random places in NYC for strangers to find, read and keep. Since 2011, there have been over 125 000 letters delivered to people in need of them and people from all over the world are joining forces (and words) to bring comfort and love to the people who need it the most. Ever since I found out about this, I have been writing love letters to strangers too and for the first time, I am participating in the 12 days of Love letters writing. From December 4-15, The World Needs More Love Letters is rolling out its biggest, grandest, most festive and challenging love letter writing campaign of the year. in honor of the holiday spirit, we roll out 12 letter requests over a span of 12 days. That’s no joke… 12 days, 12 letter requests, and a whole lot of holiday loving. Not everybody is as blessed as some of us are and The 12 Days of Love Letter Writing is a perfect way for to show up this season and help people in need around the world. And this is exactly what I did. As I went through the love letter requests, one of them pulled at a string on my heart.

Here is Alicia’s story as told by her sister:

“My sister recently moved to Chicago with her boyfriend of three years. Things had been progressing in their relationship and she imagined herself marrying him. However, the relationship came to a totally unexpected and heartbreaking end. Although my family is all within driving distance, he was all she had in her day-to-day life. She is heartbroken and can't fathom living her life without him there–her best friend. She feels immense loneliness and doesn't have a community around her to support and help carry her through. Alicia is the most loving person I know and spends time writing letters to strangers and hanging love notes in the trees of her town on Valentines Day. She loves through her words and actions on a daily basis and I know that receiving words of encouragement from others could really lift her spirit and help her to know she isn't alone.”

Let’s offer Alicia just that, and repay her kindness with kindness! Grab your pens + write some encouragement with us.

~❤~

After reading Alicia’s story, everything around me came to a halt and from the depth of a heart that has been broken and is still healing came these words:

“He was just a man…” she said
“He was just a man…I thought I would never heal. I thought I could never bounce back. I felt like I wasn’t enough; like something was wrong with me. Until I realized he was just a man and he was part of the plan”
I ,too, thought I would never heal: I thought I would never heal when at 3 am I couldn’t fall asleep and I was crying on my bathroom floor; when I was smiling one minute and the next one I was falling apart in the middle of aisle 2 at Target. I, too, thought I would never bounce back when the mention of this name would make me disappear into a puddle of tears or crumble like a sand castle. But he was just a man and he was part of the plan. His rejection was only a redirection to better things, a redirection to an opportunity to love myself, to be who I was called to be without shame, without guilt; an opportunity to finally stand on my own and embrace the queen within me, the one who was, still is and will always be independently of the presence of a king or his absence. It was hard at first to live without him and settle into that new reality. But eventually things got better.
It will take time to move on, heal and to learn to live [for now] with nothing but your precious and lovely self again. It will be tough but you, my darling, are tougher. So be brave. Be strong in the face of pain and be gentle with yourself in this new journey you are taking. Celebrate the small victories: your first laugh, your first day without tears, waking up every morning and finding hope in the little things… Things will get better but you already know that. I celebrate you: everything that you are and are yet to be, and I stand right by your side.

“He was perhaps dreamy and managed to eclipse you for a minute but always remember my love, that you are the sun. This is just a little rain, your shining light will be back again”

Sending you a lifetime supply of hugs and good thoughts,

With so much love,
A wounded healer.

All the letters for Alicia’s Bundle are to mailed to the following address by December 20, 2017:

Alicia’s bundle
℅ Genna F.
1331 Keenland Drive
Bartlett, IL 60103
USA

Want to participate into the 12 days of love letters? Sign up on More Love Letters and receive a request into your email for the rest of this holiday campaign. Each day, a new letter request will be published to the More Love Letters blog. You can write one letter or submit a note to all 12 bundles! The choice is yours! All letters should be postmarked by December 20, 2017. Your love letters will be bundled up with other letters from across the world and delivered by the new year!

Happy writing! 

xo