The Rising Of A Warrior

This article is starting like most of the ones I write and in which I pour my heart out: sitting on my bed, processing a long day and eating my feelings through a giant box of chocolates.

I have always been fearless when it came to the pursuit of my dreams and the things that set my soul on fire and coming to the U.S was one of those things: a dream for better tomorrow, perhaps home, perhaps here or perhaps somewhere else. I didn't exactly know where chasing my dreams would lead me back then (and I still don't) but one thing I knew for sure was that there was something big awaiting for me at the end. I enthusiastically dropped my luggage in my room as I got here for the first time, thinking about the big things I was going to do, thinking about the accomplishments I was going to cross off my bucket list. Little did I know that I was on to a fight, than only those with the courage, will and mindset of a Spartan could win.

When people get to the US (or anywhere else really), there are a lot of things they don't tell you. And thus, there are a lot of things you are just unprepared for. People don't tell you about the culture shock. They don't tell you about the depression and the stress that can either make you suicidal or homicidal. They do not tell you that someday you will  miss your home and you will want to just drop everything and go back. They don't tell you because well... I don't know why... Or maybe they do but we just don't listen. From my experience, no matter how bad things got, no matter how many nights I cried myself to bed (because there were just days like that where only crying would soothe my soul and allow me to fall asleep) I always reminded myself that I didn't come all the way here, made it to where I was to back down. Giving up was not an option: I had too much at stake and I couldn't risk jeopardizing my future. So no matter how difficult it was I always had to push harder and challenge the limits that seemed to be imposed to me.

And then in a blink of an eye it was graduation: I told myself it was the crossing line. It was the end of the beat down. Boy was I wrong... The funniest thing about studying Biology (yes... I am a biology major) is that pretty much 90% of the things I learned apply to life in some kind of way. And what I have learned as an international student striving to make my dream come true (despite a system that cage those who are not natives) is that it is all about the survival of the fittest. This concept originates from Darwin's Theory of evolution and all boils down to one simple thing: in order to survive you MUST evolve and let me tell you my post graduation experience has been one of those moment where I had to evolve to "stay alive". My post graduations years have been all about survival to the point where even when things were going good, I couldn't help but plot emergency plans for when things would go wrong (Talk about being paranoiac!)If you are an international student in the U.S you will understand.... If you are not, I wouldn't wish that to you. Getting into this laws system can have two different effects on you: it will either break you or turn you into a Spartan. I bet you wonder what it turned me into...

I have had the best of both words: some days ere beat downs and one mental/ emotional breakdown after the other. It was bad to the point that sometimes, I felt like I could never catch a break: from the pressure of finding a job under strict deadlines to the highs of finding one and back to being empty handed because the Biotech industry is as unpredictable as a woman on her period. It was a lot to handle on most days and honestly there were times where I contemplated the ideas of packing my bags and leaving. But then there were just days where God's grace carried me through. There were just days where my mind was still, my heart was calm and I just had an unwavering assurance that God was going to pull through and make something work (and He never failed to do it!) It was stressful at times but His grace carried me through. And I was blessed enough to see doors open before me, one after the other; not without a fight but they eventually did open. And I am grateful for that, especially when I think about those who weren't as "privileged" to have the kind of opportunities that I have or just to have the opportunity to live their dreams. Period.

This post is not about my Faith or my religion. It is not about me bamboozling you with some Jesus stuff even though for me, it did work (along with my efforts to find a job of course). This article is about encouragements. It is about letting you know, if you are an international student reading this, you are not alone. There are plenty of us who have been through, are going through and will most likely go through what you are going through. And some days it might feel like you are not going to make it. The system makes you believe that you are not going to make it. But you got to trust that even if life is tough, you are tougher and no matter how bad it is at the moment, you will make it.

Keep your head high and keep pushing, you will get there.

With Love