Sometimes I
think about my life and how it has turned. And like I always say, “It hasn’t turned
the way I thought it would and how I wanted it to but I’m okay with it” because
no matter how messed up my life was sometimes, I have learned many things that
shaped me, my character and made me who I am today and in a sense, I am proud
of that. I wish back then I had the knowledge and insight I had on life now but
what good would it have done to me? Sure, I wouldn’t have made some of the
mistakes I made but isn’t the purpose of life to learn through trials and
errors? Well... I surely did. Because 99% of the decisions we make stem from (or are
influenced by) the internet (thanks Google) I thought I would put the little knowledge
and insignificant insight I have gained on life to use and somehow help somebody out there, looking
for the answers I didn’t have growing up; answers I had to figure out on my
own, most of the time the wrong and hardest way. So if I had to write a letter to
my 17 years old self, this is what I would say….
Dear
seventeen years old self,
Let me
start by giving you a great advice I wish I had considered back then: enjoy our
high school years, enjoy your college years because these will be the most
amazing years of your life. Don’t rush to get to adulthood just because you
believe it rhymes with freedom. I am here now and I can guarantee you it is
nothing like what you are envisioning so don’t rush. Enjoy the long days doing
nothing, enjoy the chance you have of living life without any liabilities
because once you become an adult that’s all you will get: Liabilities. Enjoy
the friendships you are forming right now and nurture them because some of them
will give birth to the strongest sisterhood bonds you had never imagined, bonds
that are almost stronger than the one that links you to your siblings.
I know
right now you are telling yourself that your life sucks. You are trying to
recover from that huge heartbreak that shattered your heart into pieces. You are
laying down awake all night wondering if you will ever get over it. Wondering if
one day you will be able to smile again, to love again, to think about him
without crying uncontrollably. And let me tell you, you will. I know it sounds
silly right now because you feel like you are losing you mind but you will. I
know it is hard because you thought he was your forever and that you would make
it to the happily ever after and all of the sudden, your dream turned into a
nightmare and you can’t seem to be able to wake up. It sucks I know… But you
will get over it. Why? Because you are strong, you just don’t know it yet. You will
get back on your feet because you are resilient and because great things await
for you ahead.
My Scars tell a
story. They are a reminder of times when life tried to break me but failed.
They are markings of
where the structure of my character was welded.
Steve Maraboli
And as
tempting as it sounds to jump into a new relationship to forget about your
heartache, I will give you an advice contrary to the popular opinion: don’t do
it. Give yourself time to heal. Don’t hide your emotions by diving head first
into work, don’t hide your emotions by secluding yourself into a castle of ice,
pretending nothing hurt. It will destroy you and kill you from the inside. And
believe me there is nothing sadder than to live life when you are dead on the
inside. Be honest about your feelings. Don’t shut down when you are hurt and
have issues. I know it is what life seems to be teaching you right know because
of all the betrayal you are experiencing right now. You feel like you cannot
trust anybody and that the entire world is against you. But you have to find
the courage to open up and speak up about how you feel. That the only way you
will heal, that is the only way you will make it alive and sane.
If you
have to scream and cry for the world to hear how desperate you are do it. Silence
is never an option. Cutting yourself is never an option. Drinking to the point
where you pass out is not an option. The pain will be back again tomorrow and I
don’t want you to get caught up in a vicious cycle that will slowly lead you to
the grave. You are smart, loving, caring and full of potential. Don’t let what
you are going through today be a good enough reason to turn off the light and
give up on the future. Things will get better, I promise you. Yes sometimes you
will feel like you don’t really know what you are doing, you will mess up quite
a few times around but it’s okay. See, being adult is like looking left and
right for incoming car in an attempt to not get ran over but then you get hit
by a plane. I know… It sounds horrible but the good news is that one day you
will stand in a place where you will turn your mess into a message and if that
doesn’t cheer you up well, I don’t know what else will. Will you ever meet the
Mr right? You will… But unfortunately it will be the wrong timing. Your head
will be too full of dreams and ambitions, he won’t understand how driven you
are and you won’t understand how passionate and in love he is and how you not
being there for him is crushing his soul. But then, you putting a cross
on your dreams will not be an option so you will leave, heartbroken, but still
hoping that he will find someone able to love him and be there for him in ways
you couldn’t.
We had the right love at the bad time
Moving
through life, you will reach a point where people will constantly judge you and
try to change you. Don’t follow. Always remember that you have never been a
follower and never will be (I know I am the future you). Do you and live
your life. A lot of people will leave your life for that reason, because you don’t fit
the ideal they had of you and you don't fit into their mold. You will also burn a lot of bridges which now seem
to mean a lot to you but down the road will end up being dead ends that will
lead you to the same hurts, tears, resentment and angers. Some of them will be
very hard to burn but you will thank yourself for doing it. Despite all you
will be going through you will still have a heart to love and care even for
the people who hurt you. Why? Because this is who you are and nothing/ nobody
can change it.
I know
right now you think your parents are annoying but trust me…. Years go by fast and people are not eternal... You will realize it the hard way. Love
them while you still can and don’t spend a day without being grateful for them.
They are going above and beyond what they can do to give you a bright future
and the least you can do is to be appreciative for that. And to be honest, even
though you are not the worst kid to raise, you are not the easiest either and for
that, you must give them credit.
Love your parents. We are so busy growing up, we often forget they are also growing old
I will end
my letter by giving you the greatest advice of all time I had to find out on
my own and it was an epiphany that led me to living a better life. Life is not
perfect but it is what it is. take one day at the time and enjoy every single
second of it. Always see the positive in the negative and let nothing/ no one
steal/ kill your joy. At some point you will spend life in your own corner: don’t
be afraid to spend time with yourself. Get to know yourself and learn to be
happy and content being by yourself. Understand that happiness is an inside job
and you are the one in charge of your own happiness. Never let somebody
convince you of the contrary. You cannot know the answers to all the question
you have in life or about your future, but as long as you remain attached to
the Lord and trust His word and His plan for you, you will make it safely to
where you are meant to be. Great things awaits for your miss, and believe me
they are worth everything you are going through right now. When things will get
unbearable get to your knees and pray and remember in the midst of trials and
persecution that “this too shall pass”.
So be courageous and strong my love
because things get better and I promise you, they will.
Much love,
Your twenty-five
years old self.
Be First to Post Comment !
Post a Comment