Have you ever met one of those what if people? The one constantly trying to make scenarios and asking questions such as : what if it didn’t
happen? What if it did happen? What if things were different? And the list goes on...
Well I used to be one of them and if there is one thing I can tell you it would be that this is one of the most unhealthy ways to live a life and I am not proud of the fact that I have been stuck with that unhealthy state of mind for years. For years it seems like a habit I couldn't let go off even though it was tiring. But reaching the point where it started to kill me softly and slowly, I wondered about ways to break free of that poisonous lifestyle.
And around that time , I happened to have a conversation with friend of mine and I got to experience that “ahaa!” moment I needed to be able to
move forward in my life. With the amount of pressure I experienced lately, the lifestyle I had unconsciously chosen to live took up a whole other turn. I found myself upgrading from I-can't-fall-asleep-so-let's-think-about-the-different-combinations-of-what-ifs-a-potentially-sane-mind-can-pounder-on intermediate level to level pro a.k.a Insanity. And as I am working my way back to being sane (again), I wanted to share with you few reasons why
it is so important for you and for the people around you to let go of the “what
ifs” and get going with your life.
First you have to keep in mind that if you decided to take a decision or act a certain way it is because at this very moment of your life it is what you needed. It might not be the best decision, it might not be the best choice you could have made and you might not even understand why back then you made the choices you made. But one thing you need to understand is that we are constantly evolving and making mistakes is part of human nature so if those things/ choices were not the best, you need to break free from that unhealthy cycle of thinking/living in term of "what ifs" and ask yourself what it is that you can take away from the experience you just had. Once you have done that let the what ifs go and move on.
Another reason you need to let go of the “what if”s is that
at this point there is nothing you can change. I recently lost someone that was
dear to me and the only question I was able to ask myself was: “
what if things could have been different?” and my friend whom I was having a
conversation with told me “At this point there is nothing you can do. Your friend is
gone and I know it is hard
but you have to accept it. That is the way it is. Mourn, cry, grieve then let it go because you have to keep moving with life.” As hard as it sounded (and
believe me it sounded a notch harder than that), it was true and tasted very
sour. Nothing I can possibly do or imagine as a “what if” scenario could bring
that back to life my friend that passed away or change anything to the whole situation. We all need to understand
it and take things as they come. It can be hard sometimes but we do not have
the choice. Okay we do and that other choice is denial but I even with that, at
some point you have to swallow the pill of the truth not matter how big it is.
Most importantly you have to give up on the “what ifs” because life goes on. By
holding on to that you are missing on so many important things, you are missing
on life, love, happiness, opportunities to create something better for you and
for the people surrounding you. “what if”s prevents you from living your life to the fullest because you are stuck in a fantasy where in theory everything is fine, refusing to see the truth because it hurts too much. Or you are too busy anticipating the future and giving yourself an unneeded amount of anxiety. the mind can only take so much of being stuck in the past and living too much in the future. and beyond that point you are just setting yourself up for destruction and misery. And by the time you wake up and realize what you have been missing on, it will probably be too late because time is doesn't to stop and life will go on with or without you.
No matter what happens we have to let go of the “what
ifs” and realize that it will do more harm than good to us physically &
emotionally. We need to realize that happiness is now, here, at this very
moment and unless we let go of the "what ifs" we can’t fully enjoy it and make the
best out of it. We need to let go of all them and all the crappy
emotions associated with them and move on for ourselves, for the people we love
and are surrounded by as well as those who are not around anymore. Even if we
don’t feel like we can do it, just not yet, we should always remember that they
would not have wanted us live in the pass while life has so many things to offer.
If not for ourselves we should at least acknowledge that moving on with life is something we owe them.
