Transcending gender stereotypes

"Attempting to get at truth means rejecting stereotypes and cliches."

 ~ Harold Evans

I just love that quote because it is just so true in every sense of the term. We have been raised in a society that was mostly based on stereotypes even though until these days people still refuse to acknowledge it. Stereotyping is present everywhere and is developed from young age unfortunately. Is it because we are wired that way or is it because the society is forcing it on us? Or maybe it is a combination of the two? From our early years we are told to behave a certain way, we are told what to do, what not to do. Gender stereotypes are the one thing that has done much more harm than good to our generation: preventing so many people to live the way they would want to live and thus preventing them to be the successful individual they are meant to be.

Women once upon a time were taught and required to be as invisible as they could possibly be. They had to behave like women would do, they had to be nice, look nice, stay in the kitchen, eventually get married, have kids, take care of the house and the family. There was that idea that women needed a man to be accomplished and it was some kind of self-verification that was needed by women from the society. We used see it everywhere: in movies, in the media, in real life but at some point there has been a 3-point turn that made people think and be like: “wait… this isn’t true… this isn’t fair. Why should some people behave that way and some other not? Why should they have all the privilege and why should we just shush it and keep quiet in the kitchen while the word is waiting for us? Why should we depend on a male whether he is an alpha, beta or even omega male to be happy? Something has got to change” and literally things have shifted around.

They are entering man-dominated workplaces as well as field of study and they are just some women out there doing a fine job. I just love how women have claimed their independence and the ownership of their own happiness. I have recently watched Frozen and it is just a magnificent art of work in every sense of the term. It is just amazing how it deconstructs the stereotypes we have always been exposed to with regard to women and how it gives young women great life lessons as we train them to be leaders tomorrow.

#5 – Don’t be afraid to be yourself

Elsa didn’t want to let her power show because she was afraid she would hurt someone but more because she was afraid of was people would think of her. She was trained by her parents to be the “good girl” she knew she could be and it involved keeping her power as a secret. Most of the time we show people the side of us we think is closest to what they wish we would be because we are afraid to be judged, labeled and because we don’t want them to walk away. so we just play along forgetting how exhausting it can be, forgetting how disappointed they will be when they find out the truth about us. People who truly love you will accept you the way you are, without judging you. So just be yourself and don’t be afraid to let it show

*weird. Gotta love those kids :)

#4- People are not always who we think they are

it is so important not to judge people just by the way they look. We don’t really know people until we get to know them really and it takes time. And sometimes when we think we know them, it turns out we don’t. the prince Elsa was about to marry seemed to be a nice guy but it turns out he was an evil, black hearted nasty little person (ah! Went for the full thing here! Lol)
at the same time you can’t pretend to know someone you have met only two days ago and say that you love that person because you have “so much in common” which brings me to the next point

#3- Love vs. infatuation

People make that mistake often, rushing into relationship only to realize that it wasn’t true love. Of course it wasn’t! you guys met a week ago and two weeks later you are exchanging texts where you say “I Love you” to each other, every 10 minutes and I am like:

Love is much more than sharing common interest with some random person you met a day or two ago. Falling in love doesn’t happen in the course of a day or a week. It is a long process in which you get to know the person in front of you. You get to know the bad as well as the good sides of that person and you commit to love that person no matter what happens. While infatuation is something delusional, kind of unreal, Love is unconditional and is the real deal you want to settle for no matter what the price is. You can find more information about the difference between love and infatuation here.

#2- If you want it to be done do it yourself

Usually, in Disney movies when someone disappears, the men go wherever they have to go to find that person while the princess/queen (or whatever) waits at the castle. Princess Anna just took down that stereotype: she wanted to find her sister so she went after her to find her. By herself. She got everything done herself no matter what difficult it would be (and I don’t think she knew it was going to be that difficult). She took the lead and had to courage to step forward and say “I will go”. We can see a lot more into that than just a woman doing something by herself on her own: it is a call for women to be leaders. It empowers women to take the lead, to step forward and make great things happen. Because after all, “it is okay to be ambitious” and if you want to get something done you have to do yourself. Period.

#1- You don’t need a man to be happy.

This is one of the most powerful messages that were transmitted to the future generations of young women being raised. This is such a huge stereotype that has prevented so many women from being happy. We used to think that happiness was all about achieving great things in life and have that great man that will just tie the knot and you will be happy ever after. Isn't what we usually see in movies? The princess marry the prince, the guy gets the girl and makes her happy and all other kind of crap we know of. Frozen is about love but filial love. Although there are some traces of romance, Anna is just rolling solo at the end of the movie. Yes that’s right! She is on her own and so is her sister Elsa (The Queen). “Happiness is an inside job. Don’t assign anyone else that much power over your life”. take the ownership of your happiness, don’t wait for a man to make you happy. As a matter of fact don’t wait for anyone to make you happy. And if people ask you why you are still single just tell them you are just too damn busy being awesome on your own ;)