Did you know that?

Women alwaaaaaays complain about how some men are just not relationship material: not involved enough, not communicating, bad listeners, bad at remembering important dates and being spontaneous. Well ladies, as hard as it seems for you to believe it men do know how to love, they are capable of loving and being passionate in relationships. The problem is that women and men love each other in a different ways. Therefore, there are many things that women need to understand about men in order to have successful relationships and stop complaining for nothing.

First thing is that men are passive listeners. Women when they usually talk with each other have some cues that let the speaker know they are listening: eye contact, nodding, verbal responses. Well men are just not like that. He could be reading the newspaper and actually be listening to you for real (or not if it has been the thousandth time you are talking about the same topic or he could be listening to you and just have the newspaper open to make you feel like he is not). Or he might be listening to you but he won't nod or talk while you are talking because well... YOU ARE TALKING! On top of it men are not that good at communicating about the way they feel about you or your relationship unless they HAVE TO. They have to go fish/dig in that part of their soul none has access to except God (and them of course!) and they just HATE doing that because it makes them feel vulnerable. I am sure no man on this earth likes being vulnerable. If you know one holla at me I want to meet him.

This leads us to the second fact, men do not know how to multitask. Multitasking is something encoded only in the DNA of women. Do not expect your men to be watching over the kids and the dish you put in the oven while you are answering a call AND doing the laundry. Men do not have a clue (most of the time) about how to multitask. They know how to do one thing at the time and most men do it well so that you can be proud of them.

Moving tothe next fact: man appreciate when you say nice stuff to them when they do things to make you happy (but most likely to impress you... Let's keep it real here). It seems like nothing to you but it is a big deal for men. They have something called EGO that needs to be flatter frequently in order for them to feel like they are being useful in your life. It is also useful for them to feel like they are in control but mostly do keep doing those things you like because they know they will get a reward and they are feeling fn awesome about it.

This brings us to another fact: men are awfully bad at guessing things. Like seriously i had a friend once saying :" I really like that girl but maaaan... She confuses me like hell. I never know what to say, what to do because i don't want to mess up things between us. So guess what... i just don't do nothing". Men do not read minds ladies, if you don't say it they will never know it. Very few are good at following hints and being spontaneous from there but the vast majority is just clueless. I am not saying you need to tell everything you like to a guy after the first date but just give him enough for him to go from there and be spontaneous once in a while. You like something, tell him. You don't speak it (don' YELL it). You are mad, there is obvioulsy something wrong with you, he asks :"is everything okay?" You reply "yes". Well don't expect him to chase you and hammer you with questions. You said you were okay, he moves onto doing whatever he has been up to until that moment you showed up at his place with that muffin face.

One last thing that i think women need to know about men is that they are problem solvers. They don't talk about it over and over like women do. You come to him with a problem he tries as hard as he can to provide you with a solution. That girl was wearing the same outfit as you at that party yesterday? Don't wear it anymore. Period.  Simple as good morning. If you are not looking for a solution don't talk about that with him. If you are not satisfy by the option given just have some mercy on him and change the topic. For his sake and for your own sake too before you get frustrated over an argument about an outfit that shouldn’t have existed.

I am sure there are many other things that the ladies out there need to know about men to have/ maintain a great and dynamic relationship with them but those are the one I could think of on the top of my head. So pleaaaase ladies, be aware of the fact that love to your eyes does not always look the same and doesn't not always have the same implications to men. Don't overcomplicate it: making things simple is one important key in finding happiness. Let the rain be over and the sun shine again. I can feel love in the air so smile and be happy!

 

“Men aren't really complicated, Ana, honey. They are very simple, literal creatures. They usually mean what they say. And we spend hours trying to analyze what they've said - when really it's obvious. If I were you, I'd take him literally. That might help.” - E.L James